The Good Home-school Girl: A Follow-up on Honoring Parents

We all know her. She is the person we often see ourselves to be. When her parents tell her not to do something, she doesn’t do it. She helps with the clean-up after every meal. She goes to church every Sunday, sometimes even twice a week! She keeps her room cleaned up. She checks with her mom before she goes out with friends. She turns in her homework assignments on time. She is involved in ministry opportunities. If someone asked her if she was rebellious, she could honestly say no…most of the time.

But what about the little things? What about when her parents tell her “You can make the choice, but we’d rather you choose this option.” What about when her friend calls and she knows if her mom were there, she’d want her to finish her school first. What about when she’s shopping with friends, and isn’t sure if her mom would like a certain purchase? What does the Good Home-school girl do then?

Most of us fit into the Good Home-school girl category. We are generally obedient to our parent’s stated commands, we don’t gossip, or even excessively complain, and generally, we try to be respectful, even though we fail much of the time. So I began to think about this concept. Is “The Good Home-school Girl” someone I want to be?

Two weeks ago I went shopping with my younger sister. It was just the two of us and naturally, we were having fun. We like thrift-store shopping (who wouldn’t?) and we were finding good deals everywhere we looked! I decided it was time for a new pair of pants. The church camping trip was just two weeks away, and I didn’t have anything to wear, so I looked around, found a practically new pair for three dollars, and bought it. The whole way home, my conscience condemned me. Why? Because I knew without a doubt that my mom would have preferred I not buy them without her there. I knew she had a certain way she wanted things to fit. Did she tell me before I left the house “Don’t buy any pants!” ? No! Of course not…but I knew her preference.

So, it blew over. They fit fine, she was disappointed at my ignorance to her preference, but hey, it was my choice, it turned out okay, and that was that. But then there was another thing: “You know I really want you to wear a skirt camping this time.” My mom told me. “But, I am going to let you make the choice.” Okay…I’m 18 years old, I’m not in rebellion, I dress modestly every day of my life, and my mom has told me that I can make the choice. Is there a choice to make? So, I looked it up:

Submission: an attitude of reverence in which a person voluntarily places himself under God-given authority as an act of faith in the sovereignty of God.

You know that verse that says “Submit yourselves to them that have rule over you.” I wondered if making a deliberate choice that was just not my authorities’ preference would be a violation of submission. Do we always have to do what our authorities prefer? So I chose to ask three questions. Ask yourself these three questions!

• If I dress the way I do because I am afraid that those at the camp-out will think I’m weird for camping in a skirt, I need to re-evaluate what is more important: is my relationship to my authorities, or my relationship to my friends more important?

• If people think I’m weird for camping in a skirt and make fun of me, are they really making fun of me? Or are they making fun of God…because I am under the authority that He has placed over me! (I had to come to the conclusion, that they are not rejecting me, but God and the authorities HE put over me).

• Lastly, if I am given a choice by my authorities, and I know their wishes, is it right to do my own thing anyways?

So this may seem like a really silly, not very important example, and it is! Isn’t that what always gets us? The music we listen to, the people we hang out with, the clothes we wear, the things we buy when we go shopping, the words we say when our parents aren’t there…all of that is what stops the “Good Home-school Girl” from being a “Submissive Home-school Girl.”

This leads me to ask one final question: God says that iniquity is “doing our own will” What we do that is defined as “iniquity” may not be inherently wrong at another time, or in another circumstance, but because it is done outside of God’s timing, it is wrong! Therefore, are we committing iniquity every time we make a choice that we know is against the preferences of our parents? I think we are, and here are the results of that iniquity:

• The Lord will not hear us (Ps 66:18)

• God will set our iniquities before His face (Ps 90:8)

• We will reap vanity which is translated sorrow (Prov 22:8)

• We will be separated from God (Is 59:2)

• We will not get good things from God (Jer 5:25)

• Our iniquity will be bondage to us (Acts 8:23)

• When we name the name of Christ, we will destroy God’s reputation (II Tim 2:19b)

All of us have different ways that we commit iniquity, but iniquity in this way is dishonoring our parents, and Ex 20:13 says to “Honor thy Father and thy Mother that thy days may be long…” Am I stretching this too far? I don’t think so. I would encourage each of you to search your life and heart for ways that you are regarding iniquity in your heart, dishonoring your parents, and thus, grieving the Holy Spirit. Then, check out the rewards of having a submissive spirit!

Eph 6:1-3, Col 3:20, Rom 13:3&5, Heb 13:17, Col 3:23-24, I Tim 6:1, Prov 6:20-24, Prov 15:5, I Pet 2:13-14, I Thess 5:12-13, and I Tim 6:2-4. The rewards outweigh the pleasure of a season of iniquity!...and…yes, I am wearing a skirt camping ;-)

Be Blessed!

~Hannah

PS: This does NOT only apply to Home-school girls :-)

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