The Good Home-school Girl: A Follow-up on Honoring Parents

>> Wednesday, October 27, 2010


We all know her. She is the person we often see ourselves to be. When her parents tell her not to do something, she doesn’t do it. She helps with the clean-up after every meal. She goes to church every Sunday, sometimes even twice a week! She keeps her room cleaned up. She checks with her mom before she goes out with friends. She turns in her homework assignments on time. She is involved in ministry opportunities. If someone asked her if she was rebellious, she could honestly say no…most of the time.

But what about the little things? What about when her parents tell her “You can make the choice, but we’d rather you choose this option.” What about when her friend calls and she knows if her mom were there, she’d want her to finish her school first. What about when she’s shopping with friends, and isn’t sure if her mom would like a certain purchase? What does the Good Home-school girl do then?

Most of us fit into the Good Home-school girl category. We are generally obedient to our parent’s stated commands, we don’t gossip, or even excessively complain, and generally, we try to be respectful, even though we fail much of the time. So I began to think about this concept. Is “The Good Home-school Girl” someone I want to be?

Two weeks ago I went shopping with my younger sister. It was just the two of us and naturally, we were having fun. We like thrift-store shopping (who wouldn’t?) and we were finding good deals everywhere we looked! I decided it was time for a new pair of pants. The church camping trip was just two weeks away, and I didn’t have anything to wear, so I looked around, found a practically new pair for three dollars, and bought it. The whole way home, my conscience condemned me. Why? Because I knew without a doubt that my mom would have preferred I not buy them without her there. I knew she had a certain way she wanted things to fit. Did she tell me before I left the house “Don’t buy any pants!” ? No! Of course not…but I knew her preference.

So, it blew over. They fit fine, she was disappointed at my ignorance to her preference, but hey, it was my choice, it turned out okay, and that was that. But then there was another thing: “You know I really want you to wear a skirt camping this time.” My mom told me. “But, I am going to let you make the choice.” Okay…I’m 18 years old, I’m not in rebellion, I dress modestly every day of my life, and my mom has told me that I can make the choice. Is there a choice to make? So, I looked it up:

Submission: an attitude of reverence in which a person voluntarily places himself under God-given authority as an act of faith in the sovereignty of God.


You know that verse that says “Submit yourselves to them that have rule over you.” I wondered if making a deliberate choice that was just not my authorities’ preference would be a violation of submission. Do we always have to do what our authorities prefer? So I chose to ask three questions. Ask yourself these three questions!
  • If I dress the way I do because I am afraid that those at the camp-out will think I’m weird for camping in a skirt, I need to re-evaluate what is more important: is my relationship to my authorities, or my relationship to my friends more important?
  • If people think I’m weird for camping in a skirt and make fun of me, are they really making fun of me? Or are they making fun of God…because I am under the authority that He has placed over me! (I had to come to the conclusion, that they are not rejecting me, but God and the authorities HE put over me).
  • Lastly, if I am given a choice by my authorities, and I know their wishes, is it right to do my own thing anyways?



So this may seem like a really silly, not very important example, and it is! Isn’t that what always gets us? The music we listen to, the people we hang out with, the clothes we wear, the things we buy when we go shopping, the words we say when our parents aren’t there…all of that is what stops the “Good Home-school Girl” from being a “Submissive Home-school Girl.”

This leads me to ask one final question: God says that iniquity is “doing our own will” What we do that is defined as “iniquity” may not be inherently wrong at another time, or in another circumstance, but because it is done outside of God’s timing, it is wrong! Therefore, are we committing iniquity every time we make a choice that we know is against the preferences of our parents? I think we are, and here are the results of that iniquity:


  • The Lord will not hear us (Ps 66:18)
  • God will set our iniquities before His face (Ps 90:8)
  • We will reap vanity which is translated sorrow (Prov 22:8)
  • We will be separated from God (Is 59:2)
  • We will not get good things from God (Jer 5:25)
  • Our iniquity will be bondage to us (Acts 8:23)
  • When we name the name of Christ, we will destroy God’s reputation (II Tim 2:19b)

All of us have different ways that we commit iniquity, but iniquity in this way is dishonoring our parents, and Ex 20:13 says to “Honor thy Father and thy Mother that thy days may be long…” Am I stretching this too far? I don’t think so. I would encourage each of you to search your life and heart for ways that you are regarding iniquity in your heart, dishonoring your parents, and thus, grieving the Holy Spirit. Then, check out the rewards of having a submissive spirit!

Eph 6:1-3, Col 3:20, Rom 13:3&5, Heb 13:17, Col 3:23-24, I Tim 6:1, Prov 6:20-24, Prov 15:5, I Pet 2:13-14, I Thess 5:12-13, and I Tim 6:2-4. The rewards outweigh the pleasure of a season of iniquity!...and…yes, I am wearing a skirt camping ;-)


Be Blessed!
~Hannah

PS: This does NOT only apply to Home-school girls :-)

6 comments:

Laura Frederick October 27, 2010 at 1:32 PM  

Thanks for sharing Hannah! When God's spirit communicates with out spirit there isn't always a really good hard logical reason, you know that sure to win the case in court evidence to defend what He's saying. When He gives parents a gentle quiet prompting, some moms and dads can be hesitant to enforce it down upon their children (esp. older ones!). So in many cases by honoring what our authorities call their preferences for us, we are often actually following a quiet prompting God has given them. Thanks for the good reminder on submission!

Unknown October 27, 2010 at 1:55 PM  

Laura...you totally hit the nail on the head. I get a lot of girls saying "The Bible doesn't say "Thou Shalt Not" and neither have my parents, so why can't I do such n such?" It's the times we think we have the better idea, and our authorities differ, that we have to remember they are older and wiser, and know a lot more. It is never fun to learn the hard way, and stupid little mistakes often trigger future trials. You made an awesome point my girl!

Love ya!

Laura Frederick October 27, 2010 at 4:10 PM  

I think you are wise recognize the importance of deference now in the little things. Does really it matter if you wear a skirt or jeans to the campout? Not as much as the act of you choosing to show deference to your authorities in small things. The Bible says if we are faithful in little we will be faithful with much. I know I tend to think too much, "Yeah well this is small it doesn't matter. If it were a big issue, like a job choice or marriage sure I'd want do the right thing and honor my parents slightest inclination! but this is small, so it doesn't matter" Not cool! Being faithful in little things is vital! And I think showing respect now paves the way for a good chain of counsel later (without fear of a reaction or rejection) The truth is that tiny every day choices we make today will greatly impact our future. More than we think. I need that reminder. Thanks for your encouragement in that today! <3

Barbara November 7, 2010 at 5:13 PM  

Hannah,
How right you are! Two years ago, I could have modeled for the "good homeschool girl," but I knew that I had missed the mark, because if I was given the preference, I went MY WAY. And, I found that my dad just quit telling me his preference. Now, if dad tells me he would rather I do ___, I listen- and he's usually right. It has brought me closer to my dad and to God as I have learned that I can take anything to him. Thanks so much!
~Barbara

PS: Just so you know, you aren't the only one who wears a skirt to go camping.

Tiffany Martens November 8, 2010 at 1:23 PM  

Hannah! God bless you for hearing from God in this area...I think your living the journey!!!! Good for you!

Unknown November 10, 2010 at 6:26 PM  

@ Barbara...Good for you!!! I know how choosing to do the right thing brings you closer to your parents!!! I think it's hard for a lot of girls to maintain a good relationship with their dad...there's like this communication barrier! So I am so glad that God is drawing you closer to Him and using the authority structure to do so!

@ Tif - that meant a lot...and I am only living it because of certain people who have helped me see God for who he is...such as yourself!!! That is a blessing INDEED!!!! ;-)

Post a Comment

  © Blogger template Webnolia by Ourblogtemplates.com 2009

Back to TOP